The MAN Gospel

I'd like to share a post that caught my attention. I want to let this serve as a reminder, for myself, especially now that I encounter crossroads and roadblocks more often, and for others too. Read on.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to
be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not
better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any
differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior.
Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has
more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two
way
street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about
baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...
look for someone complimentary...
not supplementary.
Dating is fun...
even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...
when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily
available to
him
- he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

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I should move on......

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Messed up...

Doesn't it suck to lose every time? Isn't it cliche to hear about failed same sex relationships? 'coz I'm tired of hearing it too, I am tired of the same, failed, messed up, make believe relationships I had or I thought I had.

Last night it was hard to breath, I felt like something really heavy was crushing me down. A sudden burst of panic rushed in and when all the adrenaline was gone, it was obvious to me that I am shattered. I am messed up. Isn't this line familiar?

It was all clear to me that I am not his priority. It was his studies, or his girlfriend, or some new fuckbuddy he now has, or I-Don't-Really-Care-What-The-Fuck-Is-His-Problem anyway. He is clearly ignoring me. When I try to console him, try to bring him to explain his sudden distance, he just denies, and for a second I will be content with it, but after that, doubt wins over and then comes the pain, like a flood, drowning, suffocating.

Now, I am trying to convince myself that what I need is a distraction. I guess I am right. I can't obsess about him all the time, I'd kill myself if I do. I can't be this messed up. I can't...I shouldn't be. I aint. I wont. Dammit!

Maybe its my fault? Is it too soon? Am I expecting too much from him? Am I demanding things beyond what he can only give? But what's wrong with that? If he doesn't value me as much as I value him, then he is not worth my time, my attention, my love. Now I do sound like I am really convincing myself.

I am dying on the inside. I am dying to see him. I am dragged down by his gravity.

Get this over and done with...I wish it was that simple. :{

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When is the right time to let go...

When is the right time to let go of a person....

When he has caused doubt?

when he has caused so much confusion?

when he has caused you to break beyond repair?

I am now at the crossroads where at this point, I have to decide on something. This relationship or whatever it is that I have with Mark, whether make believe or my wishful thinking, is making me doubt myself. All of the haze has dissipated and I can now see clearly that this spells DEFEAT.

When I already know that I am clearly defeated will I surrender that easy?

I am now lost in a sea of confusion, I can't seem to decide whether to let go or not...I need help.

I walk alone in this road holding this thin thread grasping tightly as I move on and as I walk I bleed for this thin thread is too sharp for me to hold I cling to the pain for I don't want to cut the ever growing thread I look back this thread ever growing, ever bleeding in this winding road alone I stop and think for this pain is too much I let go of this thread and I thought I might regret tick...tack...tick...tack and I remember I must go on I moved on but I look back and I see the thread Ever vanishing, ever clearing is the road I linger from this thought from time to time ever vanishing, ever dying is myself.

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