Happy Holidays Everyone!!!

>> Sunday, December 28, 2008

There the title says it all. Till then guys! keep it all cool!


The BORA Experience

>> Sunday, December 7, 2008

November 15 was a memorable day. The night before that I was skeptic that it will not push through because there was a storm and I was confused because I had no idea what to bring (toxic). This is my first time and Boracay would be the farthest I have gone south to if it all goes well. I packed the shirts that I need, my rubber shoes, shorts and a lot of underwear and stuffed it all in my backpack. 6 AM, I awoke at the sound of my alarm clock. I cooked breakfast and ate it after and then went straight at the bathroom to do my thing. We agreed to meet at McDonald's Olivarez 9AM sharp.
So we met at around a minute past 9. The moment we were complete, the endless bantering began and we couldn't stop laughing. We laughed at the simple things, yeah we're shallow, typical cause we were like this ever since we were at high school. We took the bus to Magallanes where we rode a taxi to NAIA 3. Nhejj, Lorie, Aizel and Gersie was supposed to meet at Makati and will see us there at NAIA.
Gersie has always been the slug in our group, a spoiler of fun. It was half past nine when he awoke and the rest was furious, because we can't afford a delay or the plane will leave us, but eventually he made it. And so we met at NAIA, checked in and waited for our plane to arrive and we took some pictures.

(from the left: Jei, Aizel, Gersie, Weng, Lorie and Nhej) Before paying the airport fee or something I decided to take a picture.

A picture of my plane ticket. Yeah, it's my first time that's why. hehe.

Who took this picture?? hmmmmm...who's missing... Ah yes, its Nhej. She thought of taking it at the back and directed us to look back so that it will have an artistic effect or something (whatever) but it went well so it's okay. It was 10 minutes past the expected time of arrival of our plane and yet there is no plane in sight. What could have happened with our plane?

This is a picture of the tarmac, and there is still no plane in sight. But after about 20 minutes of waiting, talking, laughing, kidding around, the plane arrived.

Passengers in the first aisle are called but we took no heed of the ruckus that it caused.

But then passengers at the back aisle were called, and we scampered. Inside the plane, we took again some pictures. I felt mixed emotions from then on. I was scared and happy at the same time, scared because it was my first time to fly, and I was doubtful of how it felt to ride a plane, and happy because we were kidding around all the time. I was at the middle, between Gersie and Lorie. Lorie was at the the window seat, she was so lucky, I wanted to be at the window seat but it was okay, the middle seat would do I thought.

A view of my side of the window.

The doors closed and the flight attendants did their thing and I felt all the blood rush in my head. This is it. The plane taxied and the feeling of flight was amazing. So this is what it felt like. I was so naive, but it's the truth. The plane slowly ascended altitude, and the sign for seat belts turned off, some of the passengers went to the comfort room, but I never left my seat, I was too amazed at the scenery outside my side of the window and took some pictures.

At the height of our flight my cam suddenly malfunctioned so I was not able to take some pictures. After about 35 minutes, we arrived at the Kalibo International Airport. A man was holding a piece of paper with the name Divina Gracia Serapio and we all chuckled when we saw it, wow, we never expected that we will be greeted this way. A van was waiting outside to transport us to the Caticlan pier.
The ride to Caticlan was a grueling one, the intestine-like roads are stomach wrenching, and I had low tolerance to long rides since my vertigo attacks. As we neared Caticlan, the coastline appeared and it was a sight to see. But the motion sickness ruined it all. After about an hour and a half, we arrived at the Caticlan pier. Another man was waiting for us to assist us from Caticlan till we reach our hotel. The boat ride was good, Caticlan and Boracay was about 5 minutes apart. We disembarked the Caticlan pier and rode a mini van to reach our hotel, La Carmela Resort. After checking in and arranging our things, some of us slept. The trip from Manila to our hotel was okay, but the motion sickness wasn't.

That night, we partied at a local bar at Station 1. we drank booze and smoked...what was that called, well it was not cigarettes, it was something with charcoal on top. I forgot what it was called. We came at the hotel at around 4 in the morning, and Weng insisted that we have a dip in the pool, but unfortunately it was closed. So we went at the beach and had a dip. While enjoying the cold sea water, Weng can't help but remember Yhen, who recently passed away because of cancer. And we talked about it, suddenly it rained and it felt like a blessing. The feeling of the splash of waves and the gentle trickle of raindrops on our skin was amazing, I never felt something like that before and as the tide ebbed so our tolerance to the cold. The sun was about to peek when we retreated to our rooms.
Second day at Boracay: we woke up early, because Kuya Jegan (our tour guide) was at the hotel front already. After our buffet breakfast, we went to station 3 to ride our boat.

First stop: crystal cove. we rode the boat full of excitement and we were talking full of excitement and took some pictures on the way, but as we passed station 3, the waves suddenly became wild.

It was fun, Gersie, Jei and me were enjoying the ride while those at the back were silent because they were nervous already. But after about five minutes, we arrived at the crystal cove.

Well ofcourse, the crystal cove is famed for its crystal caves. It has two of them and both are breath-taking to behold. The path to its caves are a little bit difficult to tread but it was all worth it. Take a look.

At the crystal cave2, we came into a tunnel and at the end of it took our breath away. It was so beautiful.

After crystal cove it was snorkeling the next. So we went to a snorkeling spot and got our snorkels and dived to mingle with the little fishes. It was amazing. This is a picture of the snorkeling area.

I got dizzy after so I never got the chance to take some pictures after. We got to our boat again after about 10 minutes of snorkeling, we went to Puka Beach. The way to Puka beach was intense, the waves were bigger and wilder. At first it was okay, we were kidding along while screaming our hearts out when a big wave came, but as time passed, it became uncomfortable, we got dizzy of the rise and fall. We arrived at Puka beach totally exhausted and famished. But we had a treat, there we ate seafood. Our table was teeming with all sorts of them, crabs, squids, and fish. We also had pork and grilled eggplants. Here's a picture of Puka Beach and our table.

After we had our lunch, we rode again the boat to get to station 2 again to ride a bigger and faster boat for our parasailing. It was Gersie and Weng first to try.

Next was Nhej and Lorie.

Then it was me and Ivy. I had a bad feeling about it at first, because it was so high, and I have doubts about the cord splitting apart, but what the heck, so I gave it a go, and it was scary at first but once we were up there, it was okay. The whole island can be seen atop and apart from the not so usual shifting of the cord to the side, it was a good experience.

After the parasailing experience, Gersie, Nhej and Lorie tried jetski. The rest was too exhausted or too dizzy to try. They had a couple of rounds each and then we tried banana boat (hectic isn't it?). The banana boat was okay, though it was not as exciting as parasailing it was fun nevertheless.

The island hopping ended with the banana boat ride. We were transported back to station 1 after. A mini van was waiting for us there to get us back to our hotel. It was an exhilarating day, nothing beats a fruit shake after so we went at..hmmm...I forgot the name, but it starts with J. Anyway, it was supposedly famous for its tasty fruit shakes. And they were right, the shake was good. There we witnessed the boracay sunset. That night Gersie and Weng went out to party but the rest of us are still sea sick to party. So we slept.
The third day: I heard the alarm, and got to my feet, it was 7 AM. Time for breakfast. Our flight back to Manila is early so we need to check in early as well. Some of us had last minute shopping for "pasalubong". We checked out at around 10 AM. We bade farewell of Boracay and was thankful of the good memories we shared together. The baggage seemed heavier not because of the extra weight but because its really sad to part with a real beauty that is Boracay.

And so we went to Caticlan pier once again, rode the boat, transfered to a van and arrived at Kalibo airport one and a half hour early of our expected flight. While waiting for our plane to arrive, we went outside and had some chitchat, Nhej and Ivy bought some pasalubong for Mae.

The plane arrived and we board. This time, I was seated at the window, yes!. This was what I was looking forward to. Gersie was beside me and Nhej next to him.

The plane taxied and had a lift off, and as the plane got farther away of Boracay, I chanced to take a last picture before it faded in the horizon. But it was unnoticeable in this picture. That tiny island there in the wide blue background is Boracay.

We arrived at NAIA at around 3PM. Back to reality I thought.

Somehow the BORA experience seemed like a dream, a distant dream, but none of us were sad as our bantering and kidding around continued till we got to Mae's house to deliver our pasalubong. It was past 8PM when i arrived home. I felt short of BORA but nevertheless all the wait was worthwhile. I thank my bestfriend Ivy for the spectacular experience. Till next time BORA!!


Gloomy Tuesday

>> Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It has been raining for two days now because of a storm and the gloom is getting into my mind sending doubts about the coming "bora" week if it will ever be fun and exciting. When we go to the beach we all expect the sun to greet us, right? but all this raining clearly had me hoping that by Saturday it will be sunny. I mean I would enjoy a rainy frolic in the beach but not all day. Of course I want to stroll, make sand castles, meet new people, dive or snorkel perhaps, but how can you do all those if it's raining?
I just hope that come Saturday it will all be sunny. I pray.



>> Friday, October 31, 2008

Yesterday, I had my vertigo attacks once again. I was browsing on the internet and suddenly I heard a ringing sound in my right ear, after about two seconds the vertigo came. The ringing sound and the sudden hearing loss is my signal, and whenever the ominous sign came, a vertigo comes next. I was frightened of the terrible feeling and I panicked. I was profusely sweating and breathing heavily. Good thing I was in my cousin's house then, and I was fortunate that he (my cousin) helped me get my medicine. I would rather be sick of any disease rather than feel vertigo, it really isn't fun. The worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life.

After about 3 minutes I was feeling better. The medicine really helped alot. (But ofcourse it will help, the medicine is really expensive) Though I am feeling better now, I am still afraid that this hearing/vestibular problem I have will return soon. Maybe next week I will see my EENT doctor again for my hearing tests.


Happy Halloween Everyone!!


The week that was...

>> Thursday, October 23, 2008

Well, it has been a week since I last posted anything in my journal and so many things had happened. I wasn't able to update because I was so busy then, and I didn't had the chance to go online, only just now. So, last Saturday, Nhejj, Weng, Me and Lorie went to Cocomanga's in Pacita, San Pedro, Laguna. We had two buckets of San Mig Light and danced to the booming music, it was really fun. The lively atmosphere and merry crowd was all good, but I kinda felt flustered wondering whether it is a straight scene or not, but maybe more of the straight, I am more relaxed and at ease in the gay scene because I feel I belong to one, so besides that, everything else is good. Weng was eager to hunt for prey (girls) but then, even when she's drunk she still thinks about Yhen (her girlfriend) and that's sweet. Well, we all set our gaze for prey, only Nhejj can't because Lorie is with us. We went home an hour past midnight, and we were drunk talking on our way home. It was fun remembering it, and I haven't done it for a long time now.
Sunday, my sister and his boyfriend, Dave, went home. We had a family gathering and my aunts and uncles came. I always liked gatherings, especially when all of my cousins come together for lunch or even dinner, because it happens seldom. Plus, I really like seeing my cousins. That night we talked over a bottle of tequila together with Kuya Jek. It was fun, remembering how Karls (my cousin) gets so flushed whenever he gets drunk and we laughed even on how he sprints his way to somehow make himself sober. Unfortunately we had to end the night off early because Kuya Jek was tired and sleepy.
Wednesday, Yesterday, Kate, my cousin, celebrated her birthday. Well, it was not that celebrated and all but it was cool. We don't need a grand celebration, we just have to be thankful that she's still alive and a year older now.
Today, Kuya Jek left for Qatar to work again. I wasn't able to say goodbye then because, I think I don't want to, part of it because there is really no point in saying it because we'll see each other again after a year and half of it because there was someone in their house I was avoiding to see. I will not further expound on that. And so that was the week that was.


The Wizard

>> Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Finally, the video for the wizard class in Diablo III has been released, and it was spectacular. The visual effects are stunning. The new skills like disintegrate, electrocute ( an improved chain lightning), teleport and slow time are just awesome to behold. And I know that more are coming, its even exciting to wait for the next class to emerge but until then all we can do is wait till another development comes. I am so playing this game when it comes out in the market. Here is the trailer for the wizard class.


Jei's Pre-Birthday Celebration

>> Sunday, October 12, 2008

Last night we...Nhejj, Gersie, Weng, Jei, Gladys and I celebrated Jei's birthday in Tagaytay City, Cavite. It was past 9 in the evening when we departed from Laguna to go to GMA where we will meet Jei and Gladys. It was planned that we will depart earlier than 9 but of course the eternally late Gersie couldn't be more sluggish as always. We learned that he lost both his cellphone from a modus operandi of burglars but anyway he made it through even without his cellphone. And so after a minute of chity chatting, Jei arrived in his galant excited, while Gladys remained in the driver's seat reluctant. We just ate some french fries and went on to Tagaytay after. The cold breeze of Tagaytay had a feeling of nostalgia as we laughed the memories of past Tagaytay encounters. When we arrived at the Perfect View Restaurant the drinking started. At first it was all talk but when we're all tipsy and on the verge of drunkenness we played a game of spin the bottle. The endless banter and childish atmosphere soon became awkward when Nhejj started to ask personal things about Jei and Gladys. It all went well and we had our share of points of view. In the end, we all learned a thing or two about Jei and Nhejj's arguments. We were greeted by the twilight of dawn as we rode home to rest, bringing with us memories of an unforgettable October.
The story behind the pictures: This was taken while Nhejj, Weng and I were waiting for Gersie to arrive at BMP Supermarket. We were smiling and yet we're so pissed at Gersie who has been always "eternally late".
At GMA, Cavite, we stopped at McDonald's. Gersie hadn't had dinner so, we ordered and had some while waiting for Jei and Gladys to arrive.
We then stopped at Andok's Tagaytay to get some "pulutan" and while we're waiting we took some pictures.We were so excited and happy, obviously. This picture was taken inside the car.
We're not yet drunk here. Well almost. These pictures were taken at Perfect View Cottage rentals.

After the merry drinking, it was past 4 in the morning, we were tired and sleepy and we thought what better way to jump start ourselves but to have a hot goto and so we decided to have some as we talked about the coming month that will surely be exciting.


The Proposition of Cowardice

>> Monday, October 6, 2008

When someone says you are a coward, how will you react? I have been told that I was a coward many times before, more by myself than any other person that I have talked to. I have realized this weakness a long time ago, but I guess I was really too ignobly timid to face it. I stayed static for too long. Idle and apathetic. But when someone budges you to move forward, you gain momentum. I was moved when my friend slapped the truth right into my face. Like an epiphany, it was somehow painful, not because the truth always hurt, but because someone close to my heart brought an issue I always avoided. And it was somehow good, because I took it constructively. I never sulked after that, instead I took it as a dare. A challenge to myself, And now every time I feel I am hesitant about making a decision, I always tell myself, "are you really a coward Paul?" which then jump starts me to move forward. Quite the contrary, it was still an insult to my ego, but that's the truth, and I am proud that I have real friends who doesn't bother telling something harsh just to insult me but to raise me up and offer a helping hand to move me back to my senses.


Used to being Single???

>> Sunday, October 5, 2008

I think I am now used to being single. I have been single almost all my life and now and I don't know if I feel good about it or not. Sometimes, when melancholy strikes in, I sulk on the thought of me finding a partner, but when it seemed that I found him, I suddenly realize I don't feel love at all. Now this has occurred twice now and every time I think about it I become hesitant to try again. Can you believe? I don't really know myself. Unbelievable. But it's true. I think of reasons to justify my actions, and I came up with just maybes and not sure answers. Maybe I haven't found him yet, maybe I am really snobbish just like what my friends say, maybe I just can't stand the thought of someone following my every move, maybe I am just enjoying my time being single (huh? I don't seem like I'm enjoying it) okay, I'm wrong about that, anyway, perhaps I am just too timid to act, I mean, I certainly would not find him if I don't do something about it, like stay in one place. I have to move and find him. I think that two persons who are meant to be together always gravitate towards each other, and when I stay static, nothing happens. Maybe. Nothing really is a sure answer, but for now I guess I have to find it. Take it into an experiment, find what's true and what's not. Now that's something I am sure about.


Finding Cody Cummings

>> Saturday, October 4, 2008

I was browsing hot house entertainment new releases when I stumbled upon this beautiful man, Cody Cummings. His face is like mesmerizing, every feature he has is just full of testosterone. Then on I searched for his website and pictures and videos of him, and it all lead to codycummings.com. The site was good, I learned that he was bisexual, and the only thing he ever came close to an m2m scene is a blowjob. I was disappointed ofcourse I would much like to see him fuck a man, but I can live with it. Just to see him is worth the search. I became an instant fan. Here is a picture of himself which I got from his website. A lot of his pictures and some clips are found on his website.


Introducing...My Porn Stash!

I've recently added a link list of my porn stash. Okay, I admit, I like porn so much, and right now I have tons of them, and I like to collect more. I have an insatiable appetite for it. Does it mean I'm sick? lol. But of course we're talking about gay and bisexual porn here, not straight. Anyway, my porn stash will feature my favorite porn stars, directors and lots of beautiful men that is to die for. I warn you though, if you're not into gay porn, don't click it anyway. I'll update it whenever I add more links that catch my attention.


An Unexpected Loss

>> Friday, October 3, 2008

I was talking about how I was happy to receive an unexpected gift from God on my last article and it hasn't sank in all yet when God chose to take it back away. My sister was rushed to the hospital because she had miscarriage. The gift we had been waiting for will never come soon, but at least my sister is okay, that is something to be thankful about. Perhaps it is meant to be, I said to my sister. Not reassuring her but just my way comforting her. It's a sad monday.


An Unexpected Gift

>> Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Two nights ago, an unexpected message from my sister came on my cellphone. My sister ominously asked if I have load. I thought maybe she wants to talk about something and I was right. I learned from her that she was 7 weeks pregnant. I was like shocked, happy and resentful all at the same time because I kinda expected that sooner or later she will get pregnant because she is sleeping with her boyfriend. Anyway, after about 5 seconds i was aghast, and everything sank in, she asked for my opinion.
I am as always at her side of course, and at this time what I can only give is my piece of advice because obviously she was distraught. She didn't know how to break the news to our parents. I told her they have the right to know, she has to expect the normal reaction of parents when they learn that their only daughter gets pregnant. They can get angry but eventually they will understand.
For me, it was okay, because I'll have a nephew or niece now. Am I that old already? wow. Time really flies fast, we were still playing outside oblivious to the scorching heat of the sun yesterday, today, she's pregnant, tomorrow I'll be an uncle. I just pray that everything goes well for my sister and my family.


The Durance of Hate: An Introduction to my Life

I know I should have done this the first time I wrote on my journal, because this should be the introduction, but I guess I just didn't know that I should begin it this way, but here it goes.
I am Paul Daniel Aguilar, now 26 years, 9 months and 22 days to be exact. I am the eldest son, my only sister is one year younger than me. I was born and raised here in BiƱan, Laguna.
I guess I have no perfect recollection of my childhood like everybody else, but I'd like to think that somehow it was meant to be that way.
My mother, who always told me that she nearly died giving birth to me wasn't really that much of a hands-on mother because she had to work that time to augment my family's income and so my aunts (her sisters) took care of me.
It was till I turned 2 or 3 years old that my aunts married and made a family of their own. So my father came home to reprise his role, actually he and mom took turns, this was according to what mom told me. I was a giddy child and looking at my pictures from back then I can conclude that I was cared for that much, being the only child in the family that time, I was pretty much the center of all attention.
I do remember my aunt Elvie telling me that I started scribbling at a very young age. Usually children only draw lines that don't make sense, but me? I started drawing shapes that time. I also remember mom telling me that at the time I was born, an architect died (I don't know how did they get this information), somehow she said that his soul reincarnated in me, well obviously this sounds crap, and I don't believe in it.
It was after a year that my sister was born. Mom said that April's (my sister) was an accident because she was not planned. Eventually my mom have to go to HongKong to work as a domestic helper to sustain our family. Dad came home from Saudi Arabia to care for us but like my mother, he was never a hands-on dad, even worse.
My father, well he is a typical father, emotionless, disciplinarian, strict, quick to anger and vengeful. Like her mother, I have concluded that growing up in a place where they have to be strong in emotion and body, transformed my father into the heartless man he is now. Well not really "heartless", almost, but I guess he is not good at expressing his emotions. Bad culture and upbringing plus bad genes made him terrible.
It was when my father decided to come home for good that all the bad luck came and circled upon us ever since. He always blamed my mother for not saving the money he sent us, and till now he hasn't forgiven my mother for that.
I couldn't understand why he was that angry. Why is easy for him to point and blame my mother, when I know that all the money he sent when he was still working abroad was spent wisely on us (me and my sister) both.
My mother who is sensitive and melodramatic is also a martyr. Even then when she first came here in Tubigan (because she's from Sta. Cruz) eyebrows raised, a commotion stirred. My father's family wasn't really that consenting to their marriage and since then have been treating our family quite unfairly. Being the martyr that she was, she wholeheartedly accepted that she was destined to be like this, to be hurt and be hurt again, even though she knew its hard to be condescending. She knew that she was viewed by my father's family as a threat and an intimidation to their pathetic existence.
I may seem biased, but I don't care, maybe I am really biased. I favor my mother more than my father because I grew up not knowing him. All I have of him are mere assumptions, from his body language, his dealings with other people, his techniques and his upbringing, because my father is a man of silence. He chose to be this way, only to be known this way.
I pretty much know that I was born gay. I remember back then I know that I was different, not that I prefer playing with toys for girls or wearing girl's clothes because i didn't, but because I was attracted with boys as well.
My body seemed to move gracefully like a girl and my voice and intonation seemed to sway even though I didn't want it to be that way. I was attracted to guys yes, but never had I had any recollection that I had malicious intent. Not that early. But my innocence was soon abused by the people around me. They took advantage of me.
I remember a distant kin rubbing his penis on me. I didn't know what he was doing and I can't remember the feeling I felt back then, but something in me like what he did. I liked his cock. maybe I like cocks. I was amused by them. How this thing of flesh can give pleasure and pain not withstanding. How it can conquer a woman or a man's heart for that matter.
I also remember playing with boys of my age and how we compare cocks and I would get that instant enthusiasm and excitement (not to mention the erection) just by looking at their boners. I struggled to keep myself from touching them, but of course kids of my age then are experimental and its normal, only I wasn't.
I sucked cock that early, I don't know if it felt good because some of them forced me to do it, most of them were just playing because to them its just a phase but to me, it was confusing.
A time came when all the pleasure and confusion became fear. A girl playmate of mine caught me blowing a boy playmate. She went to my parents and my father came furious.
This part of my life became my turning point and is the major event that shaped my personality. This maybe is the root of all my present inconsistencies. I have no complete recollection of what happened exactly probably because this is too painful for me to remember. I am not sure if what I remember was a justification for my anger or a feigned memory devised by my ego.
And so my dad dragged me outside for all the neighbors to see, and when finally I was inside my grandmother's house, he began to hit me with a plank, while shouting curses at me, telling me that I have given shame to the family. This perhaps has caused me unbearable pain as every hit became more than pain, more than fear, but anger. This hatred became the most important emotion I had back then and because I still had respect for my dad, I learned to bury it inside, and there it became immense and deeply rooted.
The insult to my integrity didn't stopped there for my neighbors then viewed me as someone who's different, and they judged me for that. My playmates discriminated me and so I distanced myself to them. But even worse was what my family did. They say that the greatest wound can be inflicted by the blade closest to your heart and it is. I thought my family would support me, defend me and understand me for who I am, but they didn't. Instead they aggravated the crime. They became accessories and perpetrators themselves. My hatred was so great that it is impossible to escape from it. I was locked inside my durance of hate and this hatred became my fuel, my backbone and my drive to survive.
I became aloof, scared of people, scared of straight men, because most of the insults i had was from them. I became scared of looking straight in the eye of people because I only see the terrible eyes of my father. I have lost much of my self-esteem and myself because what i did was I hid my true self away. i abandoned my true identity because it was too painful to be honest with myself.
Then on I wore a mask, denying that I was gay. Getting angry when someone calls me gay, not because I wasn't, but because I despise discrimination. I hated their ignorance. I know I could have stand for what I believe then but I didn't. I was too afraid that my family would disown me.
I became doubtful of everyone else. I became paranoid, I seem to view everyone as a threat to myself, because I thought they would hurt me again.
This denial of my true identity went on till after two decades of my life. I went to school, and i found my refuge there. Even though I had to wear my mask for my own protection, my high school friends accepted me for who I am. They had a feeling that I was not really myself bu they respected my decision. Everyday as I went to school, I breathe a lot lighter as if a heavy burden has been lifted from me.
My high school friends were the first to know the real me and they accepted me wholeheartedly. They were the first to save me from being eaten alive by hatred. They made me believe that there is really something beautiful just behind the clouds.
It was funny remembering how difficult it was to remove my mask and reveal my true identity but I survived, and like a glass on the verge of breaking that is full of water to the brim, my friends helped me empty my glass.
Everything seemed okay until I realized that my confession of my real identity to my friends is just a tiny speck in a bigger picture where bigger hurdles are present for me to overcome. Eventually I had to face them one by one.
The same thing happened when I was in college, but this time around it wasn't that difficult anymore.
At that point in my life I learned a valuable lesson, that by denying myself I constantly hurt the people that care for me. "What a tangled web we weave when at first we choose to deceive." That was the famous quote that brought me back to my senses.
Then on I have become more understanding of people but more importantly I became more aware of myself, because back then I was like a shattered glass. By becoming more honest with myself I paved the way for my own healing. Now one more hurdle remains to be overcome and that is to tell my family that I am gay. I have decided that I would tell them when the right time comes, and that time I thought will be known only to me.


Prelude to the Bora experience

>> Sunday, September 21, 2008

Ivy, my bestfriend, now confirmed that the trip to Boracay is official. November 15 till 18 will be the much awaited "Bora Experience" and I can't wait till November comes. I hope evrything goes well. But before the bora experience, Jei, also a high school friend will have a pre-birthday celebration come October 10-11 in Tagaytay. Two fun-filled events, exciting indeed!


A Fresh Look

This has been the third time I have changed my template and I can't seem to stop, but eventually, I have to say, I am proud that I chose this template. This kinda represents my personality. Thanks to ourblogtemplates.com for making such a work of art. I think that I will settle with this template for a long time.



>> Wednesday, September 3, 2008

It has been weeks since my last post. I wasn't able to update my blog because I was sick the past few weeks. I had vertigo attacks and was rushed to the hospital. Until now, I still have bouts of 'dizziness'. But I can safely say that the discomfort I feel now is bearable. After I recuperate I will resume on posting new articles here on my blog.

*Thanks for all the people who greeted me when I was sick. I recuperated fast because of y'all.


Exciting News

>> Thursday, August 14, 2008

I recently received my eligibility to take the NCLEX exam, and I felt suddenly excited at the thought of me going through the whole process, though I am a bit worried because I might make mistakes. Mistakes would mean big bucks lost. Surely I don't want to repeat the registration process again. I hope I can get through all of these and pass the exam in the end.


Increase your technorati authority

>> Friday, August 8, 2008

Here is a way to increase your technorati authority posted by Trestin. For the whole process check his blog here.




4. Sound Libraries by Discovery Sound

5. World Ethnic Sample CDs



8. Super Space Cowboy


10. Jill's Grumbles

11. Trestin Sports

12. Flotsam and Jetsam






18. Hangukblogger


20. John Spence Blog


Join us and spread the word!


Diablo III official gameplay footage from Blizzard

About two days ago my cousin and I learned from a forum that the rumor is true, that Blizzard is making the sequel to Diablo II. The cinematic trailer and the gameplay footage is just awesome to behold. I really can't wait to play this game. Here is the gameplay footage from Blizzard. Enjoy!

and the second part...


Read or Die

Yesterday My cousin, Yen, brought home this new anime I thought was just crap, until I watched it. Well, it was not that awesome (not like Rebuild of Evangelion which deserves another entry here in my blog) but it can surprise the viewer. The exposition of the plot is sluggish but the author (Hideyuki Kurata) used it to its advantage as it will make the viewer hooked till the whole season is finished. Read or Die involves three paper masters, as the name implies, the three can literally control paper, strengthen it as hard as metal, make paper-mache-like creatures, and form a bow or arrow with it. The whole plot and story can be read at wikipedia if one is interested at knowing its background, story and characters. I recommend this anime to all anime lovers out there. This one is entertaining.



It has been a while since I last wrote something here in my blog. Summer is really over us. Its so hot here and humid I always wish I am in some beach in Palawan or Cebu, but really I can't, because I still don't have work and it makes me sad really. Sometimes I think, maybe I messed it up big time, but then again, what is important is that whenever we fall, we rise up again and learn from our mistakes. (I think I have said this before) I am never good at talkin because most of the time, Its hard to practice what I preach and makes me not credible to talk about something. I just want to blurt it all out here (this is my blog after all, and I can say whatever I feel saying). I am tortured everyday of deciding to take sides. Choosing a right path is always difficult for most of us but it is more difficult for me, because I am somewhat afraid of making mistakes (My friends call me a perfectionist, but its an understatement really. I am well aware that nothing is perfect in this world, but we can strive to be one that is close to perfection). Should I go for another secondary hospital that is below standard just to gain experience or go for a tertiary hospital and gain quality experience but then again, should I choose to go to a tertiary hospital, I will be faced with so many hurdles to tread on to. The mere fact of this difficulty defeats my purpose everytime I get on the verge of deciding to apply on a tertiary hospital. This maybe is shallow compared to other problems that bug the universe, but I guess, somehow I am well aware that this problem is causing too much of a fuss because I have to decide on something major, something that will affect me for the rest of my life.
I know soon I will know what to choose. I just hope it comes sooner.


Happy Birthday Aizel!!

Last wednesday, Aizel (a friend since highschool) celebrated her birthday in advance, we (but more of them) decided to celebrate it at a resort near here. It was fun, especially we get to see a long lost friend, JM, it's good to see her again, plus, Gina is there also, after giving birth to her first baby, its a breath of fresh air to see her after her delivery. Here are some of the pictures taken at the event.
Aizel has an awful body (kidding) JM left so soon, so she's not here in the picture.

What's with the model posing?

JM (wearing green polo shirt) got too excited, Mae (on the middle) shows her asset.

Where was I looking?

A second take of the first picture.

A happy moment pose. An unforgettable moment like this deserves an entry in my blog. This summer started good, I know the rest will be as good, my friends make me believe so.

I would like to say thanks to Gina for uploading the pictures. Now on with the blogging thing.


  © Blogger template Sunset by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP