Vertigo

>> Friday, October 31, 2008


Yesterday, I had my vertigo attacks once again. I was browsing on the internet and suddenly I heard a ringing sound in my right ear, after about two seconds the vertigo came. The ringing sound and the sudden hearing loss is my signal, and whenever the ominous sign came, a vertigo comes next. I was frightened of the terrible feeling and I panicked. I was profusely sweating and breathing heavily. Good thing I was in my cousin's house then, and I was fortunate that he (my cousin) helped me get my medicine. I would rather be sick of any disease rather than feel vertigo, it really isn't fun. The worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life.

After about 3 minutes I was feeling better. The medicine really helped alot. (But ofcourse it will help, the medicine is really expensive) Though I am feeling better now, I am still afraid that this hearing/vestibular problem I have will return soon. Maybe next week I will see my EENT doctor again for my hearing tests.

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Happy Halloween Everyone!!

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The week that was...

>> Thursday, October 23, 2008

Well, it has been a week since I last posted anything in my journal and so many things had happened. I wasn't able to update because I was so busy then, and I didn't had the chance to go online, only just now. So, last Saturday, Nhejj, Weng, Me and Lorie went to Cocomanga's in Pacita, San Pedro, Laguna. We had two buckets of San Mig Light and danced to the booming music, it was really fun. The lively atmosphere and merry crowd was all good, but I kinda felt flustered wondering whether it is a straight scene or not, but maybe more of the straight, I am more relaxed and at ease in the gay scene because I feel I belong to one, so besides that, everything else is good. Weng was eager to hunt for prey (girls) but then, even when she's drunk she still thinks about Yhen (her girlfriend) and that's sweet. Well, we all set our gaze for prey, only Nhejj can't because Lorie is with us. We went home an hour past midnight, and we were drunk talking on our way home. It was fun remembering it, and I haven't done it for a long time now.
Sunday, my sister and his boyfriend, Dave, went home. We had a family gathering and my aunts and uncles came. I always liked gatherings, especially when all of my cousins come together for lunch or even dinner, because it happens seldom. Plus, I really like seeing my cousins. That night we talked over a bottle of tequila together with Kuya Jek. It was fun, remembering how Karls (my cousin) gets so flushed whenever he gets drunk and we laughed even on how he sprints his way to somehow make himself sober. Unfortunately we had to end the night off early because Kuya Jek was tired and sleepy.
Wednesday, Yesterday, Kate, my cousin, celebrated her birthday. Well, it was not that celebrated and all but it was cool. We don't need a grand celebration, we just have to be thankful that she's still alive and a year older now.
Today, Kuya Jek left for Qatar to work again. I wasn't able to say goodbye then because, I think I don't want to, part of it because there is really no point in saying it because we'll see each other again after a year and half of it because there was someone in their house I was avoiding to see. I will not further expound on that. And so that was the week that was.

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The Wizard

>> Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Finally, the video for the wizard class in Diablo III has been released, and it was spectacular. The visual effects are stunning. The new skills like disintegrate, electrocute ( an improved chain lightning), teleport and slow time are just awesome to behold. And I know that more are coming, its even exciting to wait for the next class to emerge but until then all we can do is wait till another development comes. I am so playing this game when it comes out in the market. Here is the trailer for the wizard class.


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Jei's Pre-Birthday Celebration

>> Sunday, October 12, 2008

Last night we...Nhejj, Gersie, Weng, Jei, Gladys and I celebrated Jei's birthday in Tagaytay City, Cavite. It was past 9 in the evening when we departed from Laguna to go to GMA where we will meet Jei and Gladys. It was planned that we will depart earlier than 9 but of course the eternally late Gersie couldn't be more sluggish as always. We learned that he lost both his cellphone from a modus operandi of burglars but anyway he made it through even without his cellphone. And so after a minute of chity chatting, Jei arrived in his galant excited, while Gladys remained in the driver's seat reluctant. We just ate some french fries and went on to Tagaytay after. The cold breeze of Tagaytay had a feeling of nostalgia as we laughed the memories of past Tagaytay encounters. When we arrived at the Perfect View Restaurant the drinking started. At first it was all talk but when we're all tipsy and on the verge of drunkenness we played a game of spin the bottle. The endless banter and childish atmosphere soon became awkward when Nhejj started to ask personal things about Jei and Gladys. It all went well and we had our share of points of view. In the end, we all learned a thing or two about Jei and Nhejj's arguments. We were greeted by the twilight of dawn as we rode home to rest, bringing with us memories of an unforgettable October.
The story behind the pictures: This was taken while Nhejj, Weng and I were waiting for Gersie to arrive at BMP Supermarket. We were smiling and yet we're so pissed at Gersie who has been always "eternally late".
At GMA, Cavite, we stopped at McDonald's. Gersie hadn't had dinner so, we ordered and had some while waiting for Jei and Gladys to arrive.
We then stopped at Andok's Tagaytay to get some "pulutan" and while we're waiting we took some pictures.We were so excited and happy, obviously. This picture was taken inside the car.
We're not yet drunk here. Well almost. These pictures were taken at Perfect View Cottage rentals.

After the merry drinking, it was past 4 in the morning, we were tired and sleepy and we thought what better way to jump start ourselves but to have a hot goto and so we decided to have some as we talked about the coming month that will surely be exciting.

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The Proposition of Cowardice

>> Monday, October 6, 2008

When someone says you are a coward, how will you react? I have been told that I was a coward many times before, more by myself than any other person that I have talked to. I have realized this weakness a long time ago, but I guess I was really too ignobly timid to face it. I stayed static for too long. Idle and apathetic. But when someone budges you to move forward, you gain momentum. I was moved when my friend slapped the truth right into my face. Like an epiphany, it was somehow painful, not because the truth always hurt, but because someone close to my heart brought an issue I always avoided. And it was somehow good, because I took it constructively. I never sulked after that, instead I took it as a dare. A challenge to myself, And now every time I feel I am hesitant about making a decision, I always tell myself, "are you really a coward Paul?" which then jump starts me to move forward. Quite the contrary, it was still an insult to my ego, but that's the truth, and I am proud that I have real friends who doesn't bother telling something harsh just to insult me but to raise me up and offer a helping hand to move me back to my senses.

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Used to being Single???

>> Sunday, October 5, 2008


I think I am now used to being single. I have been single almost all my life and now and I don't know if I feel good about it or not. Sometimes, when melancholy strikes in, I sulk on the thought of me finding a partner, but when it seemed that I found him, I suddenly realize I don't feel love at all. Now this has occurred twice now and every time I think about it I become hesitant to try again. Can you believe? I don't really know myself. Unbelievable. But it's true. I think of reasons to justify my actions, and I came up with just maybes and not sure answers. Maybe I haven't found him yet, maybe I am really snobbish just like what my friends say, maybe I just can't stand the thought of someone following my every move, maybe I am just enjoying my time being single (huh? I don't seem like I'm enjoying it) okay, I'm wrong about that, anyway, perhaps I am just too timid to act, I mean, I certainly would not find him if I don't do something about it, like stay in one place. I have to move and find him. I think that two persons who are meant to be together always gravitate towards each other, and when I stay static, nothing happens. Maybe. Nothing really is a sure answer, but for now I guess I have to find it. Take it into an experiment, find what's true and what's not. Now that's something I am sure about.

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Finding Cody Cummings

>> Saturday, October 4, 2008

I was browsing hot house entertainment new releases when I stumbled upon this beautiful man, Cody Cummings. His face is like mesmerizing, every feature he has is just full of testosterone. Then on I searched for his website and pictures and videos of him, and it all lead to codycummings.com. The site was good, I learned that he was bisexual, and the only thing he ever came close to an m2m scene is a blowjob. I was disappointed ofcourse I would much like to see him fuck a man, but I can live with it. Just to see him is worth the search. I became an instant fan. Here is a picture of himself which I got from his website. A lot of his pictures and some clips are found on his website.

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Introducing...My Porn Stash!

I've recently added a link list of my porn stash. Okay, I admit, I like porn so much, and right now I have tons of them, and I like to collect more. I have an insatiable appetite for it. Does it mean I'm sick? lol. But of course we're talking about gay and bisexual porn here, not straight. Anyway, my porn stash will feature my favorite porn stars, directors and lots of beautiful men that is to die for. I warn you though, if you're not into gay porn, don't click it anyway. I'll update it whenever I add more links that catch my attention.

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An Unexpected Loss

>> Friday, October 3, 2008

I was talking about how I was happy to receive an unexpected gift from God on my last article and it hasn't sank in all yet when God chose to take it back away. My sister was rushed to the hospital because she had miscarriage. The gift we had been waiting for will never come soon, but at least my sister is okay, that is something to be thankful about. Perhaps it is meant to be, I said to my sister. Not reassuring her but just my way comforting her. It's a sad monday.

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