It Ain't Poetic Enough

Two days ago I translated a poem I made four years ago for a certain textfriend of mine. When I remember why I made it, it just feels corny. I was pretty immature back then. I tried my best translating my own poem, but I guess the tagalog version sounds more poetic than the translated one. Anyway, here it is in its original and translated form.

"Kaibigan Mo Lang"

Minsan sa daloy ng aking buhay

ika'y dumating at humalo sa agos

nang panahon ng buwan at my bituin

ika'y sumiksik

hinawi ang ulap at ang kadiliman

at doo'y sinimulan ang isang

bagong pagkakaibigan

Takot ako, parang naiwang kumakapa sa dilim

Duwag ako.

Katulad pa rin ng dati

sa giyera at unos

ng umaalimpuyong damdamin

Balisa sa bawat tawag mo

paghihintay sa bawat araw na lumipas

"First time mo?...Oo"

Patawd, isang malaking kasinungalingan

na kahit kailan ay di mo malalaman

Natuwa sa anyong pinapakita mo

sa bawat dagok nakaabang

upang saluhin ko

dahil kaibigan mo lang ako

nakontento na ako.

Inis, sa pagkukubli sa sarili

dahil takot ako

natakot ako sa kawalan

natakot akong iwanan mo ako.

Tinaboy kita sa pagaakalang

hindi kita kayang mahalin

isang anino ng aking kathang isip

Isang sugal na malinaw ang

aking pagkatalo.

Sinaktan kita.

Patawad.

Ngayon, masaya ka

kasama ng bagong mahal mo

Naiinis ako, naiinggit, nagsisisi

dahil isa ka lamang anino ng

aking kathang-isip.

Minsan sa ilang taong lumipas

hinakdawan mo ang dalwamput dalawang

taong alaala

ngunit kaibigan lang kita.

isang pirasong hiram sa aking isip

na hindi magtatagal

dahil kaibigan mo lang ako

ngayon nasa laot ka na

at ako'y nasa pampang.

Ninais kong mag-alay sayo

ng mga kahulugan at di ng mga salita

pagkat kulang ang mga salita

Malyo ka na

di maaninag

hahanapin ka mga matang nagaasam

ng mga taong katulad mo

dahil kaibigan mo lang ako.

Magtatagpo tayo

sa panahon na pumagitna sa atin

kasabay ng aking oyayi

at doon sasabihin

Paalam.

Dahil kaibigan mo lang ako.

Here's the translated version...

"Only Your Friend"

Once in the flow of my life

you came and mixed through the current

at the time of the moon and the stars

you persisted

parted clouds and shed light

and there began

our friendship

I was afraid I am left behind

I cower

like before

in the battle and the storm

of crashing emotions

Troubled whenever you call

I await the days that pass

"Is it your first time? yes."

Sorry

It will forever remain a secret.

Happy, with your every gesture

with every insult i await

to take willingly

because I am only your friend

and I am contented with it.

Annoyed for deceiving myself

because I was afraid

I was afraid of nothing

I was afraid of you leaving.

I shut myself thinking

that I cant love you

because you are only a figment of my imagination

a gamble with a clear defeat.

i hurt you.

I am sorry.

Now you are happy

together with your lover

I am annoyed, envious and regretful

because you are only

a figment of my imagination.

Once in a few years that passed

you leaped through twenty-two years

of memory

but you are only a friend

A peice that is only borrowed in my mind

that will soon vanish

because you are only a friend

Now you are at sea

and I am at shore.

I wanted to offer you

meanings and not words

because words are'nt enough

to express what i feel

You are now too far

fading in the horizon

my eyes will yearn for you

because you are only a friend.

We will meet

halfway

together with my lullaby

I shall say

Goodbye

because you are only a friend.