Uncertainty

There is this lingering feeling of uncertainty that is bothering me these past few days. Its the middle of January and still Philippine Heart Center has not called. I mean they did not promised anything but i am expecting their call this month. This has let me think things over, and I am afraid that this might ruin things I planned before. I am so bored every single day. I perpetually think of things to do just to kill time and everyday becomes a challenge as this load of guilt is becoming more heavy as days pass. I mean, I feel guilty because I am becoming more of a burden than a benefit in my family. Here I am a fully-pledged registered nurse bumming around while my sister who unfortunately wasnt able to finish college due to financial constraints we have is clearly having a promising future. I do sound envious isnt it? But to tell the truth, maybe I am, its normal to feel this way, when a possible threat is perceived we devise defenses, no matter how it sometimes seem lame. I am aware of it, but at the same time I am grateful that my sister's future is becoming brighter. Because together with her promising future is the future of our family as well. I do pray to the Lord that this year be bountiful for all of us.

I still believe in Byrne's "Law of Attraction". I still want to be positive inspite of the depression and despair I have been feeling lately. I am aware that these feelings will only take me down further and is not progressive. I believe that my time will come and great things come to those who wait.